the dilemma of waiting...

W

aiting… Is not something I do well,  I’d like to think I have the patience thing down…. but the past events of this week have hindered my patience… while writing this I’m trying to find my way like feeling around through darkness even though the lights are on…

The light of  knowing the full truth of the matters, the darkness of not knowing where the boundary lines lie, how much you can attain within it's perimeters, and how much of it's area you can cover… but in this darkness I know EXACTLY what I want….

movies, dinners, afternoon strolls in the park, weekend getaways, the simple movement of everyday life that alludes to waking up next to each other and knowing that this is the first and last place you’d ever want to be… and although I know I can have these things, I shouldn’t want these things, I should abandon these notions but the deepness of my resolve will not allow it. Somehow I feel like it would be right only if I disengaged, gracefully added a cutesy, and walked away…   BUT my selfishness wants to give in selflessly…

I'm falling,

to a place I've never been...

I wonder if HE 

can

catch

ME ...